Rock
Scissors
Fuck
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
