Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
