Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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