When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
