I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
