I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize