3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
