just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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