I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
