Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize