Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
