He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize