I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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