Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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