I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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