Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
