I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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