Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
