Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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