apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
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