Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
