I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
