It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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