I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
