so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
