I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
