So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
