I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
