I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
