remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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