I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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