there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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