Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
