After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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