i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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