i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
