you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
