What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
