I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
