It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
