Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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