Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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