My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize