You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
