dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
