I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
