I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
where are my eyebrows?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
