cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All the doctor said was why
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
