I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
