why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
