I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
