soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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