I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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