yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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