i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
