I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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