Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
