Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
