Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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