I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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