is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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