Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
