My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
