Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
