Can i not drive my cunt home
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
